Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Moments of Drama, Moments of Truth

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with a young woman who was having some "man trouble".  She had been jokingly saying to my wife, Leslie, that she'd like for me to "train" her boyfriend, because she was so envious of how nice I am.

Apparently, this woman's boyfriend had a lot of bad habits, was secretive, and had various other faults, which I heard about in extensive detail.  And as I listened to all the plotting and counter-plotting, it quickly became apparent to me that -- as is usually the case -- these two were pretty much a match -- made in hell!

And at one point I said to her, "Doesn't it ever seem to you like you have too much drama in your life?"

And she said that all the drama was coming from him, she didn't have any in her life except from him!

Yeah, right.

The thing is, there is really only one source of drama in our lives -- and it's not other people.

Why They Call It Drama

See, there's a funny thing about TV shows and movies.  An awful lot of them -- maybe almost half -- have almost exactly the same plot.

First, something happens.  Maybe it's something bad, maybe it's something good, but it's something important, nonetheless.

Second, somebody doesn't tell the truth about the thing that happened.  Maybe they lie to save face, maybe they let somebody else jump to the wrong conclusion and don't correct it, maybe they don't tell someone their feelings.  But in some way, they know the truth about something important, and they don't own up to it.

Most of the rest of the movie or TV show is then spent showing how the character's life falls apart as a result... and the only difference between a comedy and a "drama" is in whether you're meant to laugh or cry at the bad things that happen.

Of course, the main character always feels he or she has a good reason not to tell the truth.  There are, after all, some kind of bad consequences involved: embarassment, rejection, punishment, etc.

Indecision is Suffering

So the character has a decision to make.  He or she can face the consequences of telling the truth, or face the consequences of not telling the truth.

Of course, the character doesn't want to decide.  He or she wants to get away with having the cake, and eating it too!

And this, my friend, is how drama works.

Drama is nothing less than an unresolved decision.

And the moment when the character finally makes their decision, is called...

The Moment of Truth!

The other day, my wife and I were talking about a movie we'd just seen, and it occurred to me that the most compelling scenes of my favorite movies were the scenes where someone makes an absolute commitment to their choice, often at the risk or cost of their own life.

In fact, some of the most important stories of my own life are about exactly such decisions.  They are my personal "moments of truth".

And these moments of truth are always preceded by moments of drama -- moments of questioning.

We ask ourselves, "what do I really want?"  "Can I really get this?"  "What will happen if I do this?"  And we wobble back and forth between alternatives.

But sometimes, we get stuck at this stage, trapped in our drama.  We want to have our cake, and eat it too.

For example, the young woman I spoke of earlier.  She wants to keep the same guy, and have him act differently towards her, and not change the way she acts!

Pick two, lady, and call me back.  You can have whatever you want in this life, as long as you're...

Willing to Pay the Price

And in her case, the price is going to be giving up at least one of those three things.

See, when we want things that are contradictory, we create our own drama -- and suffering.  It is within our nature to want everything... but it is not within our nature to actually get it!

So to get real joy in our lives, we have to be willing to choose what to give up.

Therefore, if you are currently experiencing a moment of drama, I invite you to to find a moment of truth, instead.  Take a deep breath, and let it go... along with whichever one of your desires you want the least.

And that desire may or may not come back to you later.  But the shortest route to happiness I know of, is to choose the things you want most in the present moment.  Because then you are always enjoying the one thing you want the most, instead of wanting many things, and having none of them!

This is not always an easy thing to do, but it is easier if you know...

How to Banish your Fears, Doubts, and Clinging

Of course, if you're an Owners' Circle member, you already know how to do that -- I've already sent you an Emotional Mastery Secrets CD last month, that explains precisely how to do it.

But if you're not a member yet, you would do well to join now, as a Friend, Associate, or Full member.  For a limited time, I'm continuing to include the Emotional Mastery CD in new members' signup package.  With it, you'll learn how to conquer any feeling that holds you back: be it fear, anger, despair, shame, guilt, or whatever else.  And then you'll be able to start living your real life -- making decisions with confidence, like the person you were meant to be.

So start owning your drama.  Own up to your truth.  And become the owner... of your lifeSign up today!